And I do think bans on social media until the age of 16 is just a band aid. The problem is still there - it will still affect kids who access it at 16 years and 1 day.
I really appreciate this smart, nuanced take on a complicated issue, Jenny! The kids who have grown up with these devices are also capable of making their own choices about how much power they will give them in their adult lives. I see this already in my own children and those of my friends.
I'm so glad to read this nuanced approach to what I believe is one of the biggest issues of our age. Working in public education, I see so many daily warning signs that we are failing to gain any ground against the ongoing churn of social media and always-on connection experienced by so many of our kids. But, as you say, to paint this as an all-or-nothing fight really takes away the autonomy and agency of kids as developing humans. Do we really have the right to drive the narrative about how this generation searches for connection when we, as adults, are responsible for driving so much of the disconnection and division that the kids are trying to overcome? We have a lot of work to do, and we must actually engage kids in actual conversation in order to create solutions that will succeed. We can't do this without them.
I believe this is yet another topic where people quickly take a for or against stance, and the middle ground gets overlooked. I've been closely following this issue, and our initiative, which I started with a friend late last year, was partially inspired by Jonathan’s book. We recognized the need for a broader conversation about the digital world and the importance of protecting our kids while reducing screen time. That's why we launched The Balanced Screen Hub, a community for like-minded parents. But it didn’t take long for us to realize that the conversation wasn’t just about our children—it was also about our own online behaviors.
As we dug deeper, we came to understand that the real issue isn't just the harms of digital devices, but the decline of local communities. From the conversations we've had, it’s clear that local communities are struggling, not just in cities, but even in small villages where community once thrived. The digital world is too entrenched in our lives to ignore, but we need to shift the focus to real-world alternatives and rebuild connections with our neighbors.
While we should absolutely continue to push for digital-free schools and better regulation of online content for kids, we shouldn’t demonize the many ways technology has enriched our lives. It’s all about finding a thoughtful balance and being open to others’ opinions. By listening, we can continue to grow our perspectives and make decisions that are best for our lives and our children’s futures. The cancel culture only disempowers us.
Yup it takes effort for sure and thats why so many adolescents are also struggling. As adults we need to get involved, setting the example for our kids and creating a thriving community that entices the young to get off their screens and get involved too.
Amen, hallelujah, and YES! These lines ring especially true for me: “School, where they spend a lot of time, feels like prison to too many kids. They don’t feel they belong, they don’t feel seen, and their own unique learning needs are not met…But if we can help kids feel they have a sense of control over their lives, they will feel better about living them.” My own work intersects with yours here. The fact that we focus so much on phones and so little on the agency kids have lost makes me nuts. I absolutely agree that we need to be helping kids feel they have control in their lives, rather than desperately taking away their phones, the one place many of them feel they have control. I look forward to sharing this with folks who have been freaked out by The Anxious Generation. They need your wise, hopeful perspective.
I hate the promise of a silver bullet. It's complicated. It takes time. But we can 100% do this. (and....big tech SHOULD be regulated)
And I do think bans on social media until the age of 16 is just a band aid. The problem is still there - it will still affect kids who access it at 16 years and 1 day.
I really appreciate this smart, nuanced take on a complicated issue, Jenny! The kids who have grown up with these devices are also capable of making their own choices about how much power they will give them in their adult lives. I see this already in my own children and those of my friends.
Cue High School Musical "We're all in this together...." ;)
I'm so glad to read this nuanced approach to what I believe is one of the biggest issues of our age. Working in public education, I see so many daily warning signs that we are failing to gain any ground against the ongoing churn of social media and always-on connection experienced by so many of our kids. But, as you say, to paint this as an all-or-nothing fight really takes away the autonomy and agency of kids as developing humans. Do we really have the right to drive the narrative about how this generation searches for connection when we, as adults, are responsible for driving so much of the disconnection and division that the kids are trying to overcome? We have a lot of work to do, and we must actually engage kids in actual conversation in order to create solutions that will succeed. We can't do this without them.
absolutely agree that this conversation should include the young - and in fact there are already some fabulous young advocates out there!
Agree 100% - kids as advocates of social media balance is the absolute best
I believe this is yet another topic where people quickly take a for or against stance, and the middle ground gets overlooked. I've been closely following this issue, and our initiative, which I started with a friend late last year, was partially inspired by Jonathan’s book. We recognized the need for a broader conversation about the digital world and the importance of protecting our kids while reducing screen time. That's why we launched The Balanced Screen Hub, a community for like-minded parents. But it didn’t take long for us to realize that the conversation wasn’t just about our children—it was also about our own online behaviors.
As we dug deeper, we came to understand that the real issue isn't just the harms of digital devices, but the decline of local communities. From the conversations we've had, it’s clear that local communities are struggling, not just in cities, but even in small villages where community once thrived. The digital world is too entrenched in our lives to ignore, but we need to shift the focus to real-world alternatives and rebuild connections with our neighbors.
While we should absolutely continue to push for digital-free schools and better regulation of online content for kids, we shouldn’t demonize the many ways technology has enriched our lives. It’s all about finding a thoughtful balance and being open to others’ opinions. By listening, we can continue to grow our perspectives and make decisions that are best for our lives and our children’s futures. The cancel culture only disempowers us.
I agree! I wrote this piece about my own realization about community - that it takes effort and I had let it go to chase success ("success") https://www.jennywestanderson.org/articles/the-only-metric-of-success-that-really-matters-is-the-one-we-ignore
Yup it takes effort for sure and thats why so many adolescents are also struggling. As adults we need to get involved, setting the example for our kids and creating a thriving community that entices the young to get off their screens and get involved too.
Amen, hallelujah, and YES! These lines ring especially true for me: “School, where they spend a lot of time, feels like prison to too many kids. They don’t feel they belong, they don’t feel seen, and their own unique learning needs are not met…But if we can help kids feel they have a sense of control over their lives, they will feel better about living them.” My own work intersects with yours here. The fact that we focus so much on phones and so little on the agency kids have lost makes me nuts. I absolutely agree that we need to be helping kids feel they have control in their lives, rather than desperately taking away their phones, the one place many of them feel they have control. I look forward to sharing this with folks who have been freaked out by The Anxious Generation. They need your wise, hopeful perspective.
Thank you so much!